The top 4 lessons of 2024 (that my autistic clients taught me)
While the new year celebrations have officially passed, I don’t feel that it’s too late to participate in a reflective practice (actually, I think it’s rather essential!). So as I sat in reflection about this past year… in particular about my work, my sessions, and my clients… I thought about all the lessons they taught me this year.
I know as the supportive adults, we often find ourselves put in the role of ‘teaching’ and supporting the autistic kids in our lives… but I often find myself asking, “What if they were really the ones teaching us in return? What is there for me to learn here?” In these questions, our work then moves into a balance of listening and receiving while also giving to them.
So here are the top 4 lessons of 2024 that my autistic clients taught me:
The process outweighs producing. Spending time with the autistic kids I support forced me to examine my own ideas around ‘productivity’. Examining the idea that ‘successful’ time together belongs to the product that emerges at the end. Examining my expectations of a planned activity outcome. That time well spent meant we had something tangible at the end of our short time together to show to others. Tying a meaning that this would all be proof that I was doing a ‘good job’. But when I shifted my focus less on the outcome, and more to the process (and often the long process!), that’s when I saw the importance of what we were experiencing alongside each other. Which leads me nicely to the next point…
Coming back to foundations. Revisiting values. This is the important, deeper work. I truly feel that in my bones. I was faced with many situations that reminded me that at the core of what we are doing together is what every human being desires. Building relationship. Coming into connection. Feeling safety and trust with another person. Feeling heard and valued. And if I could come back to that, and offer that to them, then I was truly doing the impactful work I was setting out to do.
Presuming competence. While I already thought I was doing this, I was presented with experiences of truly deepening this work and diving into the hard work of unpacking my own biases around this. Examining that what a child may be able to show me with their body in a given moment, may not be the same as what they are thinking in their mind. That they may want to learn deeper, more intricate knowledge about the world than what I was initially offering because of what I was biasedly believing they could do. Learning other languages, learning to type, remembering information, math concepts, biology concepts, complex vocabulary… the list goes on. Showing that they had capacity and drive for so much more, but the opportunity to show it had to be there too- along with trust, and patience.
Leaning into creativity. This one is two-fold. First, the kids I support show me time and time again just how creative they are in their thinking. How they put parts of things together in a way I couldn’t even imagine. How they share their ideas in their play and that I can then go and share those with other kids who might also enjoy it. How they use such rich symbolism in their communication. How they can view things from an entirely different perspective than I can see on the surface. This also challenges me to lean into my own creativity, constantly. I’m always asking myself how I can share information to them in a different way. In a way that makes sense to them. In a way that captures their interest. In a way that works with their own way of thinking.
Now I want to know, what lessons has the autistic child in your life taught you this past year?
P.S. - There will be some changes coming to my content and learning offers coming this year! I’m in the works of restructuring, and there will be some shifts and focus point changes to come! More to share on this soon.
Want to learn more about supporting autistic kids using neurodiversity-affirming practices?
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